How Hope Can Get You Through
A lesson for all of us is that for every loss, there is a victory, for every sadness, there is joy, and when you think you’ve lost everything, there is hope.” ~ Geraldine Solon
Do you have hope for the future?
I know I lost hope at different points when I was concerned about my daughter.
And yet, we all need something to keep us going in the darkest of times. We need to have faith that things can change for the better.
While you cannot control every aspect of the future, it is helpful to believe that your child will recover from their substance use.
According to Scott Barry Kaufman, PhD, “The person who has hope has the will and determination (to make sure) that goals will be achieved, and a set of different strategies at their disposal to reach their goals. Put simply: hope involves the will to get there, and different ways to get there.”
Having hope can give you the incentive to hang on a little longer when you are feeling stuck and the outcome is uncertain.
Here are some ideas to help you keep hope alive.
It is what it is.
Substance use is a terrible setback. As with any problem, you can choose to accept it, learn from it, and grow from it. Consider where you are with your anxiety, fear, anger, and feelings of helplessness. Denial keeps us stuck, so be clear with yourself about the problem.
What do you want to change? Acknowledge your reality. When you know where you are, you’ll be able to move forward to a better tomorrow.
Clarify what you want.
Pretend for a moment that you have the ability to create your ideal world. That would be so nice, wouldn’t it? How would you be feeling and behaving? The only thing you really have control over is yourself in this moment.
Take time to think about what you want. You most likely want your child to stop their substance use. Take some time to look at your child’s situation with fresh eyes and an open mind. Go deeper and get clarity about how you want your life to be different.
Lay the foundation of self-care.
Hit the pause button from time to time and check in with yourself. If you’re starting to feel drained, take a couple of deep breaths to clear your head and recharge.
Think about what you need to fix within yourself so that you can be the best support for your child. Work to get your life as balanced and focused as it can be. Your child’s use is, of course, a negative, but when you are a positive force, things can begin to change.
There are many ways to help your child. Some are more traditional, and some are research-based. Include all options so that you have the resources that make sense.
Approach your child’s substance use with positivity, optimism, and hope. Your son or daughter is using substances because of some trauma or pain that they are feeling. Talk to your child in a positive, respectful way. Acknowledge what your child is doing well. Allow your child to take responsibility for their actions.
“He who has health has hope, and he who has hope has everything.” ~ Proverb
The key is to keep hope alive.
Hope is one of the essential concepts that you can use to help your family as you move forward.
Don’t let your feelings of despair push you to depression and helplessness. During this challenging time, you need hope more than ever.
Hope will help you get from where you are now to where you want to be. It is the vehicle that will make a difference.
“H.O.P.E. Hold on, pain ends.” ~ Unknown
There are about 45 million people affected by addiction to alcohol and other drugs. Many are now in recovery. Know that your child can change their life as well. They can join the millions who have turned their life into one with meaning and purpose. It happens one day at a time, one step at a time.
When you have hope, anything is possible.
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My biggest powers are acceptance and unconditional love.