Love First

by Sandy Swenson
February 24, 2020

My way of doing things is not the only right way, and neither is my way of thinking. I don’t need to be right. I don’t need to get my way. Or prove my point. Or have the last word. What I need to be is kind.

You can believe in a different God, or vote for a different politician. You can even dislike gardening! And like eating squid! I’m not going to point out our areas of disagreement. Because what matters isn’t where we differ. It’s the sweet spot where people meet that moves the world forward, and that is where I choose to focus my energy and time.

I will try to find something to connect with in whatever you say, instead of arguing or sneering at you with a superior air. I will be a builder, not a bully. I will remember that being together is the point of being together, and will not get pulled in to heated discussions over things like which movie we see or at whose home we celebrate the holidays. I will keep my heart tuned in to what really matters. I will put love first. I will put love ahead of myself.

“We don’t have to agree on anything to be kind to one another.” ~Unknown

 Quoted from the app ‘Readings for Moms of Addicts’ available in the App Store or Google Play. (c) Sandra Swenson.

Dandelion STRONG

“We may often feel fragile, but we are strong. And we are many.
We have the power to overpower the destruction that addiction spreads.”


Sandra Swenson is the author of The Joey Song: A Mother’s Story of Her Son’s Addiction (Central Recovery Press 2014), Tending Dandelions: Honest Meditations for Mothers with Addicted Children (Hazelden 2017), the Readings for Moms of Addicts app (Hazelden 2018), and her blog.

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  1. Sandy,
    I love your book Tending Dandelions, I read from it often and draw great strength from it.
    Have you thought about using the Dandelion Strong logo on a T-shirt?

    Thank you for sharing your experience with us.. the toll addiction takes on a family/mother is just pure hell.

    • Elizabeth, thanks for reaching out with your warm words, it means a lot. I’m grateful you’ve found strength in Tending Dandelions. I do have some dandelion tee-shirts (made and sold by an Etsy vendor) on my personal website ( But maybe I need to add the Dandelion Strong logo to the line-up! Thanks for the great suggestion! Sending hugs and hope to you. xoxoxoxo

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