The life I imagined—one big happy family, both children (not just one) calling regularly and sharing news, all of us getting together for the holidays—isn’t how things turned out. And none of it will be, as long as both children (not just one) aren’t flitting companionably in and out of my life.
The life I imagined was one for the storybooks, all pretty and perfect and over-flowing with love. The life I have is just the opposite, but it, too, is a beautiful tale—in its own dark way. Although addiction has done its best to destroy life’s most special bond with its hatefulness and horrors, it has failed. So, even though it might not seem like it, my story is a love story, nonetheless.
There have been times when I wondered about the strength of my love. When I feared that something might happen to break it. Or kill it. But the love I have for my son has been tested, and it is fierce. This is not the fairytale version of love of which mothers everywhere dream. This love is even stronger.
“You have been assigned this mountain to show others it can be moved.” ~Anonymous
Excerpt from Tending Dandelions: Honest Mediations for Mother with Addicted Children by Sandy Swenson
“We may often feel fragile, but we are strong. And we are many.
We have the power to overpower the destruction that addiction spreads.”
Sandra Swenson is the author of The Joey Song: A Mother’s Story of Her Son’s Addiction (Central Recovery Press 2014), Tending Dandelions: Honest Meditations for Mothers with Addicted Children (Hazelden 2017), the Readings for Moms of Addicts app (Hazelden 2018), and her blog.
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