On the day you were born, we already knew each other. We were already in love. You see, our souls had already spent nine months getting acquainted via the umbilical connection—the place where love began, before real time started ticking away. You can’t possibly remember that, but it doesn’t make it any less real, for either of us.
A quiet give and take, flowing and seeping into all of our empty spaces—the millions of tiny synapses and secret passageways of the heart. Life’s most wondrous river, filling us with deep reservoirs of love for later. We didn’t know then what later would look like. The unimaginable later we are living now.
Sometimes I don’t want to feel this deep connection with you because it hurts so much to be so unconnected. I’m sure you don’t always want to feel it either, but for different reasons. I think, right now, for you, the connection feels more like an irritating pressure.
But want it or not, our connection, our bond, is there. Always. Indestructible and permanent. Wondrous and sustaining. I can feel it.
“We may often feel fragile, but we are strong. And we are many.
We have the power to overpower the destruction that addiction spreads.”
Sandra Swenson is the author of The Joey Song: A Mother’s Story of Her Son’s Addiction (Central Recovery Press 2014), Tending Dandelions: Honest Meditations for Mothers with Addicted Children (Hazelden 2017), the Readings for Moms of Addicts app (Hazelden 2018), and her blog.
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