Who is Keriann Caccavaro?
“Hurry up and live or hurry up and die.” I remember feeling empty and angry, but also appalled, that my mother would tell me to hurry up and die.
You see, all I heard—or chose to hear—before I entered yet another detox facility was “hurry up and die.” I remember looking at my mother with hate and rage. Of course, once again, I would flip it on her with the intention to make her feel guilty. I was quick to say, “Believe me, Mom, I’ll hurry up and die.”
Dying seemed like a much easier solution. I couldn’t face the pain I was causing my mother or my family. Most of all, I couldn’t face the pain I was causing myself.
Now with close to six years of sobriety, free from IV heroin addiction, free from alcohol, and free from the anger that once controlled me, I remember the utter despair in my mother’s exhausted, bloodshot blue eyes as she dropped me off at detox—and I see the underworld of madness and suffering where love would be my only guiding light out.
Today, with deep gratitude, I wake up every morning making a clear and conscious decision to live! I’ve chosen to use my experiences to help and coach anyone struggling with substance use disorder and to offer support to family members. I am dedicated to raising awareness in our communities. I am someone’s mentor, I am someone’s wife, and I am Someone’s Daughter.
Keriann Caccavaro is a recovery coach, drug court advocate, and woman in long term recovery helping to support people struggling with addiction and their families. You can learn more about her on LinkedIn or Facebook.
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